Shipwrecked - The Search For Our Authentic Self

“Has God really said?” the Deceiver challenged Eve.

“He’s lying.

He’s holding out on you.

He is not good.

What is it that you yourself want?

What does your heart tell you?”

Eve processed this:

“The fruit seems good to eat. It delights my eyes. It will make me wise. I want it.”

I can hear the argument in her mind, and then in Adam’s, as he too chose to eat from the tree:

“Then take it.”

“Be free of God.”

“The Truth is not in God or His ways.”

“The Truth is within.”

“It’s time to make your own rules—to follow your heart’s desires.”

“Be true to your own self.”

An alternative “truth” arose in the Garden of Eden as Adam and Eve became the first humans to embrace the truth within—what some call “my truth”—as more reliable than God’s truth.

This revolt rejected the external source of truth found only in our relationship with God, exchanging it for an internal authority.

Self-rule replaced God’s rule.

Mankind embraced itself over God!

—

Jack and Ken sat in the corner of the local coffee shop, as they often did. Old friends, they had been close since high school over a decade ago. Jack had just shared that he had left his wife and moved in with another woman. “She makes me feel like a new man!” Jack said, his heartfelt joy unmistakable.

Ken sat stunned. He knew Jack and his wife, Catherine, had faced challenges in their marriage, but he was shocked to hear his friend had left her and their two children to pursue this other woman.

Gathering his thoughts, Ken asked Jack how he could turn his back on his family. Without flinching, Jack replied, “It’s time to take care of me. I’ve never felt so good about myself or had someone who felt so good about me.”

Ken was speechless. His silence was deafening to Jack, who desperately sought his friend’s approval and wasn’t getting it. Finally, Jack challenged him: “I’ve found happiness, Ken. Can I count on you to support me in this?”

—

This story is fictional, but it’s not uncommon. I watched a series of videos by a woman in her thirties a while back that reflected our culture. It was a sequence of TikToks compiled over about two years. In the first video, she was brimming with genuine joy, announcing she was leaving her husband and children to launch out on her own. She was getting everything she wanted—it was time to be true to her authentic self. It was her time now!

Each subsequent reel showed a little less enthusiasm. Then she shared that her former husband had found a new woman. Finally, in a tear-filled moment-of-truth clip, she wept openly, detailing her regret over the past several years. She realized her husband, his new wife, and the children they had before she left were all moving on without her. She was alone. She now saw how deceived she had been, and there was no going back.

I often wonder how Adam and Eve felt after leaving the Garden of Eden. What deep regret they must have carried, unable to undo their choice. They had chosen their own path. It was never about the fruit; they rejected the truth of what God said about them and chose instead to believe the serpent’s word. Romans 1 says of those who reject God’s truth for their own,

“They exchanged the truth of God for a lie.” (See my previous post, “The Day God Became a Seamstress.”)

I think of statements I’ve heard from well-meaning Christians grappling with their friends’ and families’ rejection of biblical truth—honestly, some I’ve used myself.

—

Sitting in the coffee shop, Ken wrestled with these statements, wondering how to respond to his friend:

“Who am I to judge?”

“They’re happy now, so I’m happy for them.”

“They’re finally being true to their inner self.”

“God wants them to be happy.”

“They’ve found peace and happiness.”

“If I really consider him a friend, I should be happy for him.”

Ken finally spoke. “Jack, have you carefully considered the fallout of your choices?”

Jack looked deeply hurt. Ken wondered if he had lost a friend. Jack’s face hardened, and through gritted teeth, he said, “I thought I could count on you, Ken!”

They exchanged few words after that. Jack and Ken parted ways, even as Ken offered to keep meeting for coffee or a game of golf. Jack wanted what he wanted. All Ken could do was pray for him at that moment.

—

North American culture is centered on self. I often hear we need to find and be true to our “authentic self.” But what does it mean to be authentic?

The TikTok theologian’s mantra is “be true to yourself.” We’ve all heard the phrase, “You do you, boo.”

Merriam-Webster currently defines authentic as “true to one’s own personality, spirit, or character.” In the 1960s, Webster’s New World Dictionary of the American Language defined it as “genuine; real, not false or imitation.”

But what is real?

I’ve been part of a segment of Christianity that insists you can never trust your feelings. They teach you should trust only your leaders and the Bible, praying against your feelings—even denying they exist. This is called asceticism, a lifestyle of strict self-denial and renunciation of worldly pleasures. The Amish are an example. I grew up in a Mennonite culture, not as strict as the Amish but very much along those lines.

In the charismatic circles I later joined, feelings were central. Our experiences with God defined our faith. We attended events like “Catch the Fire,” anchored in worship, praise, and electric expectations of feeling God’s presence. But after a while, we noticed we weren’t changing. We wrestled with the same sins as before. Our character remained unchanged by these experiences.

Then there’s today’s progressive Christianity—a form of religion that ascribes to a God but embraces modern cultural beliefs, especially around sexual desires. It teaches that our inner desires are good, that men and women should embrace and follow them as gifts from the Creator.

Are these the only choices?

Were Adam and Eve corrupted by their attraction to the tree, or by acting on that attraction and rejecting God? Was the attraction to the tree and its fruit the issue, or was it giving too much weight to that attraction and not enough to God’s sufficiency?

In 1 Timothy 1, Paul warns his young protégé, Timothy, of the importance of guarding the faith, listening to his conscience, and remaining steadfast in the gospel’s truth:

“I am giving you these instructions, Timothy, my child, in accordance with the prophecies made earlier about you, so that by following them you may fight the good fight, having faith and a good conscience. By undoing conscience, certain persons have suffered shipwreck in the faith; among them are Hymenaeus and Alexander, whom I have turned over to Satan, so that they may learn not to blaspheme.” (NRSV)

Paul speaks with passion and conviction, linking shipwrecked faith to a willful rejection of ethical conduct and fidelity to the gospel. He names two men who abandoned authenticity rooted in sound doctrine and Christ’s sufficiency, shipwrecking their faith by pursuing their own authenticity apart from Christ.

The truth is, our drive to satisfy internal desires apart from Christ leads us away from Him and toward self-destruction every time. History bears this out. I’ve seen it in my own life, where my pursuit of self-validation left a wake of destruction. Yet I’ve also seen how pursuing faithfulness to the gospel and alignment with Christ produces steadfastness, stability, and even a positive self-image.

May we find our authentic self in the Cross, in Christ’s goodness and grace, in His Holy Word and in His thoughts toward us.

May our hearts seek what pleases Him, not what separates us from Him.